Olga Goncharova - Women's Trauma Coach
Hi, I'm Olga Goncharova
I am a survivor. And I see you.
For a long time, I was afraid to play big, to share my feelings, to claim the gifts of this world. I was an obedient, quiet girl who followed the rules. My spirit was locked in a cage of other people’s expectations of me. When the pain of suppressing my true self became unbearable, I escaped into the world of addiction, which for a while was giving me temporary relief and pleasure…until it almost killed me. I survived molestation, beatings, rape, and humiliation. I should have been dead long ago, but Providence, God, or a Higher Power, seems to have had different plans for me. Supported by people who believed in me, I was able to emerge from the wreckage of my past as a new being – strong, resilient, free! Today, I support other women whose spirit hasn’t been unlocked yet in discovering their power and purpose. I’ve transformed my dark past into a shining treasure, and I share my experience and my strength with people whom the Universe is sending my way. Hi! It’s great to see you here. Let’s create miracles together!
My Story
I grew up in a tiny military settlement outside Minsk in Belarus. My dad was a KGB officer and was a good father, AND he also had an alcohol problem. As a little girl, I was often left to myself, so I often roamed the forest right outside our fifteen-building town and spent most of my time studying and observing nature. Being quiet and shy, I found it soothing to spend lot of time by myself in the woods, picking flowers, playing the violin, and later, smoking cigarettes. When my family later moved to the city, I became worried about fitting in, and began smoking and drinking to deal with my anxiety and the new societal rules I had to operate in. I didn’t have nature around to help me. I was the shy little violin-playing girl who was looking for her identity.
At age 15 I was raped, I got pregnant and had an abortion. I learned that the world is a dangerous place and that I couldn’t trust men. I was anxious almost all the time, except when I was drinking alcohol. As an adolescent, I couldn't find people I felt at home with until I met my then-future husband, Sasha (we were both 15). He and I briefly became friends and then lost touch, then met again when we were 18 and he asked me to marry him. I said NO, so he married some other girl. They got divorced when she tried to tell him that he couldn’t go out and play guitar anymore. Sasha found me and pursued me - asked a friend for my number. We eventually fell in love, and got married. Unfortunately, we were spending too much time with party people. So-called normal people didn't excite me anymore, and my life devolved into a debilitating drug and alcohol addiction that ruined my health and relationships, and nearly cost me my life.
When we were 23, Sasha and I came to America with almost nothing. This helped us break our addictions for a while, but I was in very bad shape because I had just OD’d right before flying to the States, and felt like my “out-of-body nightmare” would never end. On the 20th day of our living in the Land of Opportunity, I checked myself into a local psych ward because I couldn’t take it anymore. A three-week hospital stay changed little. Meds and electric shock of the brain made me feel better for a while, but the day I checked out, my anxiety returned. Sasha found a good psychiatrist in the Russian community who stabilized my mental condition and helped me set goals for the future. I realized that in order to recover, I had to work on myself instead of relying on doctors and medications. I found a job in a Russian flower shop, started going to the gym and doing yoga, learned how to swim, and took English at a community college.
Along the way, I learned that I am a strong woman who can overcome anything. I had found the strength of mind and body to emigrate to the USA and settle in Chicago, to learn to speak English, to invest in my marriage, to raise our three beautiful sons, and to begin recovering from my addictions. I was just a person looking for solutions on how to find balance between family, work, and my recovery, and how to improve the quality of my health (physical and mental) and life in general, so I know first hand that learning and applying new knowledge can be hard, especially if a new concept is complicated.
In my own healing journey, I’ve learned that my superpowers include courage, intuition and resilience, as well as aliveness, honesty and resourcefulness. I’ve also learned that faith works, that there absolutely is a kind, compassionate and giving Higher Power that can restore me to sanity within my sober life.
Above all, I’ve learned that helping others helps me to feel the exchange of energy between us, and is one of the most fulfilling things I do in my life. I want to help people learn about themselves, their emotions and how to manage them, how to be truthful with themselves and others, and how to communicate effectively, and I want to help them understand that they are not broken, that they are whole and complete.
To those ends, I mentor women in 12-step programs, and I organize workshops on Mindfulness, Integrity, and other topics. I have coached dozens of women all over the world helping them deal with stress, depression, anxiety, and other life- and addiction-related problems. I also own another coaching business, Joyful Juicing, that specializes in science-based juice fasting.
Humans are the most adaptable creatures, aren’t we? We can adapt to new cultures, weather, circumstances, etc. We have unconscious inner forces that get activated in critical situations. And these forces are amplified by the people we surround ourselves with. We need them!
We need support from other people to adapt to new environments, especially people who share a similar background or interests. It’s hard to do life alone! Sasha has become my rock. He restored my faith in humanity. He helped me to see that I can trust people, that I can use my creativity to live a happy and fulfilling life, and that I can speak my truth AND be goofy.
Enough about me, let's talk about YOU!
Book a coaching session today and begin your journey to your better self.